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skinlike,,nicotine

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i'm feeling rather new. [ 09.17.04 ]
eyes alive, mind still growing, hair flowing and heart beating...
5 [?]

[ 06.20.04 ]
my family went out to eat lunch together at local pizza hut. it was really lame but we never had lunch together ever since i was on elementary school, so it was kind of amusing.


my eyes are watering. and my nose running.
sigh. i hate having a flu.

final exams start tomorrow. i have a couple assignments to finish before its due. i regret i never was a neat person.
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[ 06.19.04 ]

today is my little brother's 15th birthday;
he is the youngest in the family and will always be no matter how big and old he grows.

and today is my 9 months anniversary. we will go out tonight and drink wine. how amusing.
maybe i'll wear some make-up or something, or not. i dont know.

what is so special about anniversary or birthday? i thought death and birth are rather cool. but then i'm just being sarcastic.

it's been a tough and exhausting week. i'm having a flu.
my god, i need some rest, the whole time, all the time, everytime.


(i like my current layout)
1 [?]

[ 05.27.04 ]
brownCollapse )
you told me to stop crying because it hurts too much,
sometimes it gets a little deeper under the skin.

you said everything will be alright,
but things are never enough and go too slow.
1 [?]

[ 05.27.04 ]
(music) the vines; TV pro
the city rained today, under the yellow sun. i was so asleep this morning, i didnt want to wake myself up until dawn. please just let me go to sleep sleep...sleep.

(i got my period. oh so relieving...)
</blockquote>
3 [?]

i am reaching you up high. [ 05.26.04 ]
</blockquote>
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suicide. [ 05.18.04 ]
sometimes i feel like i'm not solid,       i'm hollow.
there's nothing behind my eyes.
i'm negative of a person.
it's as if i never thought of anything. i never felt anything.
all i want is blackness
blackness and silence.
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[ 04.21.04 ]
and then it is all becoming nothing. monotone drink habit & never ending sex drive.
i lost interest in everything else.

i'm pretending to be someone.
i wish you would just stop me.
4 [?]

can you see i'm trying? [ 02.29.04 ]

who am i fighting for? you, me or us?.
i hate having arguments with you. you know it is making me sad but we keep on disagree on everything i do. i will give up my job if it is making it all much better. you dont have to feel neglected again. and i will 100% support whatever things you want to do.
4 [?]

last night. [ 02.15.04 ]
what am i searching in this world? what am i trying to find in this life?
wanting, needing...
how many more life i have to live for every seconds, hours, days and years until i have my death?

i am numb. i cant think.

is there any chances?


i love you
i love you
i cant lie.

the past leave us in pain. i guess it's just how things go.

[ 01.23.04 ]
you laugh because i am different, and i laugh because you are all the same.
heh yeah,           fuck off.

on february 5. [ 01.23.04 ]


anyone seeing korn?
PRJ @ 08:00 PM.</blockquote>
10 [?]

© [ 01.17.04 ]


si bobz. cross processing.
taman karawaci. november 2003.
well so i am going to take a shower now and leave. i'm not going to drink tonight. i'm trying. .. ... i just need a vacation.


/

since this journal is basicly about my inner self and my inner thinking. normally what i have to say is pretty much for myself.
if you have anything you want to ask about what i do, what i am, etc.
any questions, i'll be ready to answer.

so anyone?
12 [?]

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